College Bars. What A Pile Of Dicks
1.) Turn that music off. I hate it. Seriously, what the fuck is this?
Yes, I get it. I can't expect to go to every bar and get to hear music that I like. Yes, I get it. This is what they call club music. This is what trashy girls like to get hammered to and then cry about daddy issues.
'YEAH, I LOVE THIS FUCKING BEAT! And he totally made me do this to his dick.'
I accept that some places are going to play this 'make this drunk white girl act like a whore' music and I am going to have to deal with it. Wrong! There actually is some really good club music. A lot of it actually. Fuck, Europe has been doing this ever since...ever? However, the majority of shitty college bars just play hastily mixed Top 100 Hits and watch as the clothing and pride fall off. If I could get so drunk that I actually, willingly go to one of these fucking places (brandy generally makes me retarded), I might actually have fun if there were some legitimately decent mixes or, your-God fucking help everey one, a live DJ.
2.) Bartenders tend to not understand how tipping works
This one can technically happen anywhere; BUT, I tend to see it much more often at 'trendy college dance club A'. A lot of my friends know that I can be a bit of a controversial tipper. I don't auto tip, I think that is fucking stupid. I tend not to buy any drinks that require an advanced alcoholic knowledge to concoct. No, quite the opposite: I want cold your-God damn beer in a (chilled, if it isn't too much) your-God damn mug (DO NOT give me a plastic cup or I will take a shit in the corner of your establishment. I worked hard to live to the legal drinking age dammit, reward me and give me a fucking man's cup). Last I checked, pouring beer into a cup is pretty easy, the most you can fuck up is the head on the beer (and if you do, I don't feel bad mocking it).
So, no...you haven't done anything to earn a tip yet. What's that? Oh, you want the tip? Well then fucking earn it. No, you don't have to suck my dick. Just be a decent human being, please. I am a guest in your establishment. Say hello, chat me up for the 30 seconds it takes to pour my beer, and then tell me to have a great night. Bam! You just earned a dollar tip! Considering my beer cost a dollar and I gave you a dollar, you are doing pretty good!
Oh and if you are unfortunate enough to be working in an establishment that charges more than two dollars for a pint of domestic (as in Budweiser, Pabst, Miller, etc.,), sorry but you are just fucking out of luck. I will explain to you that, "Sorry, I can't tip because your bar is charging me out the ass for my gross, generic beer. Take it up with management."
3.) What's the minimum on cards? Ten dollars. FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU
I was recently edumacated on the reason behind card minimums. OK, so the bar is getting whacked by the credit card company every time they have to swipe in for a one dollar beer. Then it would make sense for the bar to require him to charge up a certain amount so that the bar only gets charged one swipe. THIS IS ALL MAKING SENSE!
But its not actually suppose to happen. Most credit card companies state that the establishment is supposed to take the card as long as it is valid. I mean, you don't see ten dollar minimums at Wal-Mart, now do you? However, you would have to be a damned smooth talker (or Arnold Schwarzenegger) to get a bar to back down on its minimum.
No
Honestly, I don't give a flying rat's ass if there is like a three dollar minimum or something. I guarantee I will be able to drink a few beers. However, when it starts getting to the ten dollar range, now I am pissed. There was one time where I had to literally tip out a bartender (who was a brainless cunted twat fuck) seven dollars because I could only spend eight dollars out of a fifteen dollar minimum before we wanted to leave.
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