The Greatest TV Show Ever

Through some sloppy research, a roommate that watches an ass fuck amount of TV (what the fuck do you call it now that you can watch it on your computer TVBNRBIOTC ((television but not really because it's on the computer))?), and my own broke view of reality...I have concocted a rough draft of The Greatest TV Show Ever. Also, there are no named characters thus far (and I won't promise there ever will be because I STILL have to finish the fucking Street Fighter vs. Mortal Kombat thing, so yeah...) so just kinda fill in the blanks.

Episode 00 AWESOME FUCKING PILOT, LETS DO THIS SHIT
*****
Intro (TRT 00:00:00)

We open with a shaky cam, ultra edgy, POV chase between generic bad guy and a cop (Will be a main character. Can't be too tough looking. Has to seem like he is really trying and might actually fail. Unflappably attractive. White. Not gay). After some crazy (i.e. generic) hard rock screams at the viewer, some people get shot for no reason, and lots of trash cans are overturned the perp is finally tackled. The cop delivers his one liner and puts on sunglasses.

(TRT 00:05:39)
*****
Transition: Lots of IN YOUR FUCKING FACE (IYFF) flashes of crazy shit
*****

Act 1 (TRT 00:05:47)

We come out of our IYFF to the inside of a hospital where gunshot victims are being rushed in in quick succession. Keen viewers will note that these are all the gun shot victims of Generic Bad Guy (GBG) and Super Cop With Human Faults (SCHF). We meet our other handful of main characters: the hospital guys. Very diverse, like Noah's fucking arc of hospital dudes, (a one by the books dude, a by the books but really attractive chick, just an attractive chick, the guy that doesn't believe in rules and only the greater good, a black guy who does nothing more than try to prove the director isn't racist, the gay guy to toss in 'funny' but ultimately insensitive dialog, a 'funny' guy that really doesn't do anything, and an ugly chick trying to find her place).

These guys start yelling jargon to make the viewer feel 'there'. They argue over the best way to handle each patient. The gay guy says something 'funny'. The black guy looks wise and says the most intelligent of things (because the director is not racist, dammit). The two most attractive leads flirt while trying to heal, tensions rise. The ugly chick freaks the fuck out because no one likes her, because she is ugly.

Finally, the guy who doesn't follow rules (GDFR) breaks ALL of the rules because that is what he is fucking there for. This will happen every single episode. No one will get sick of this, ever. Of course his strange methods save the day. He is then arrested for malpractice.

(TRT 00:19:29)
*****
Transition: That first act was totally reeling in all the chicks, lets bring the guys back with more IYFF
*****

Act 2 (TRT 00:19:37)

Time for the intense court room drama part of our show. Here we meet our last major character. Controversial defense attorney WHO NEVER BACKS DOWN. He is defending our GDFR and is laying down all sorts of TV courtroom logic. This goes back and forth between the prosecution and the defense complete with lots of outbursts, yelling things like 'OBJECTION!' 'BADGERING THE WITNESS!' 'I MIGHT BE DRUNK!', and at least one fist fight.

It doesn't look good for our GDFR and his 'for the greater good because I can do whatever the fuck I want' speech was completely shut down. And then terrorists.

Terrorists storm the court room for no fucking reason, but no viewer will care because we love it when terrorists get shot. Suddenly EVERYONE who is white becomes an action hero. Lots of gun shots (but none of the good guys EVER get hit of course) and finally the court room defenders win out. The handsome defense attorney walks over to the last living terrorist and says something along the lines of, "Order in the court!" And then shoots him.

Amazed by his heroism in the face of terrorism, the judge lets our GDFR go.

(TRT 00:40: 23)
*****
Transition: That was fucking awesome! Lets keep it going with more IYFF FUUUCK YEAH!
*****

Final Act (TRT 00:40:31)

MUH FUCKIN' WRAP-UP MONTAGE TIME

Start up a song by some shitty generic indie rock band that was popular three years ago

We see the two attractive doctors sharing a bottle of wine and laughing

The ugly girl cries while she eats a bunch of pills

The GDFR watches the patient who's life he saved and ponders

The defense attorney stands inside an empty court room

The SCHF looks at his gun and takes a shot of whiskey. Flips a picture of a mysterious woman down.

(TRT 00:43:58)
*****


And THAT is how this shit will go down. Every episode the cop dude will do something that gives the hospital people a job to do. The hospital people will do their shit, flirt, fight, break-up, get back together, bone, and (in the Ugly Girl's case) cry and drink on the job. The rule breaker will break rules, save the day, and get arrested. Court room drama will go down. Terrorists will get shot. And a shitty indie rock song from no later than 2008 will play as the show concludes and show what the characters are up to. Try and tell me this wouldn't be awesome.