The Dark Knight Rises: My Second Look

So way back in January, when the Catwoman and Bane were just announced for the new Batman movie, I launched straight into angry nerd mode and lashed out at the decision. Though I tried to be fair and let people know that I was still rather positive the movie would still be ball-rockingly awesome, I was still pretty harsh and critical.

The suit had BatNipples. Fucking BATNIPPLES! AAAGGHHH!

Now that the second trailer has been released and a seven minute prologue occasionally pops up online (a Bane action scene and a few snippets at the end) when it isn't getting yanked by Big Brother, I feel that I need to take a second look and, most importantly, say that...I was really fucking wrong.

First of all here is my raging first opinion

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To start, my first point made in that original piece still kind of stands. If you were too lazy to skim over that first article, here is a quick summary:

I was hoping that, like the first movie, Nolan would cap off the trilogy by bringing one or more new villains to the screen. And despite all the differences, added realism, and gritty seriousness I just will not be as wowed by having these two characters brought to life because I have seen them done before (even if it was shitty). 

Well, that is still mostly true. Now, if you are wondering how in the fuck can that be mostly true (I mean most fucking people are either surprised or they are not, right?), hear me out. I am still not surprised by the characters themselves, but I am surprised by how they look.

And no one looked even half as ridiculous!

Bane looks surprisingly un-Bane like (which is a bloody fucking good thing, when shooting for realism), as he isn't a hulking giant, there are no Venom tubes running into his mask, and (so far) no Venom bullshit at all. All he has is his mask and scary (but not unseemly) size.

We have barely seen anything of Anne Hathaway as Catwoman (aside from a couple crappy still shots), but we have gotten to see her as Selina Kyle. If the line she delivers in the newest trailer is any clue, she is going to light that role on fire and shove it up the ass of everyone who doubted her being cast for the role. She looks/sounds/moves (if you know Catwoman, just the way Hathaway carries herself in the trailer is perfect) in a stunningly believable way (for someone playing a character called Catwoman).

So, all-in-all, I halfway concede my original point as I admit to being very surprised by how great Anne Hathaway and Tom Hardy look in their respectful roles (I was also kind of expecting this to happen when I looked back on how much flack Heath Ledger caught before people actually saw him as The Joker).

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The second thing I bring up in the original post doesn't require much revisiting as the majority of it is just me living in Batman fanatic dreamland and cooking up a pipe dream where someone just made a trilogy out of Knightfall.

Oh wait, it looks like Nolan is using a fuck ton of Knightfall for source material and is going to be delivering pretty much everything I idly dreamed about in the original post. Fuck me.

The biggest thing from Knightfall, is that Bane breaks the Bats' back. It seems that Nolan may be following that road as in the second trailer, you can see reflections of him walking with a cane and a bad limp, Bane delivers his only line in the trailer to an unmasked and terrified looking Bruce. So, whether or not we get to see the Bat get broken, is still to be revealed. But at least it is pretty much confirmed that Bane is going to fuck his day up, really badly.

Pictured: things that are about to end badly.

Second, there seems to be an awesome prison break in Gotham. It is plain as day and highlighted in the trailer, holy awesome titties! That is exactly one of the things I was rambling about that made Knightfall so rad, Bane breaking out all the loonies and siccing them on the city. Sure, it isn't the ridiculous list of B-listers that get unleashed in the comic book, but that would be suicide for Nolan to try and implement. So, I will gladly take Bane unleashing a horde of prisoners on the city instead.

Don't think they are auditioning for the new Village People...

The third biggest thing that made Knightfall important was Bane's intelligence. In Knightfall, he wasn't just a big idiotic brute. No, he was a genius, criminal mastermind, and decidedly insane brute. He didn't just break the Bat physically, he broke him mentally. He beat the Batman on all levels present. Well, it is looking like Nolan is going with that version of Bane, if the prologue is anything to go on.

Speaking of the prologue, I am not going to ruin it anyone, as it is a whole seven minutes of the movie and completely crapped on by the grainy footage and shit sound. All I will say is that it definitely shows us that Nolan's Bane is capable of pulling off incredibly intelligent, daring crimes. This one quite nearly puts the bank robbery at the beginning of The Dark Knight to shame.

So yep, despite my second point not really being a point and more just delusional fantasy, it seems my pipe dream is coming true. Well, at least as much of it as realistically can.

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The third thing I bring up in that original fart in the wind is a simple pondering as to what kind of Catwoman we will be seeing, as there are many different interpretations of the character all throughout the comics.

And as I said earlier, we have yet to see even a glimmer of the answer. However, we have gotten a really great look at Selina Kyle and that should reveal a lot about the type of Catwoman that will be gracing our presence. And I can firmly say, I think it is going to be awesome.

Hopefully better than the screenshots suggest, at least.

This is what she says to Bruce in the trailer during a dance, "Do you think this is gonna last? There's a storm coming, Mr. Wayne. You and your friends better batten down the hatches, because when it hits, you're all gonna wonder how you ever thought you could live so large and leave so little for the rest of us"

That right there, ladies and gentlemen, is some class warfare shit. It also helps that the trailer instantly cuts to rich people getting exploded and dragged out from under furniture. This kitty is going to tear shit up and is probably going to play a very complicated role in the fight for Gotham City. What with Bane representing the lower class and turning the city back over to the every man instead of the rich, but Batman representing true justice...holy fuck! Things are going to get insane really fast.

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The fourth point really has no need to revisit. It is just the fear that Spider-Man 3 has instilled in me, a fear that will last until the end of time. The fear of a great director taking a great series and piling too much on his plate for the finale and shitting all over everything.

Oh my! I am covered in fuck!

Not much to revisit because only time will really tell. We are just going to have to wait until next Summer to see how Nolan plays his final hand.

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Finally comes my last point and the one that I feel I need to dismiss the most. I had stated in the original entry that this third movie was going to feel way more like a comic book action movie rather than a dramatically told, fleshed out tale of the highs and lows of being a hero.

This newest trailer has obviously told me that I need to eat my own balls out of shame for ever doubting how Nolan will end the trilogy. This movie is going to be fantastic. The newest trailer shows how much he has invested in this film and how much he wants you to love it.

I can't fucking wait.