As the New Years looms just around the corner, a time where the general population is getting pants shittingly drunk, I would like to take a second to talk of teh positives of doing just that. Now don't get all uppity cunt about how its an affliction and a bad thing. I know that it can be bad for you, I know that you are a dumb fuck if you get behind the wheel of a car, I know that people who use it as an excuse for hitting people and being a shit hole of a person are fucked, and I know damn sure that you shouldn't drink your way into a situation that finds kick fucking an amputee hooker while using a car battery to shock your testicles into cooperation.
That said, it can certainly make things interesting. I am a drunk, not an alcoholic. I am young and don't give a shit for most things offered by the single most boring generation America has ever had to offer. I am not interested in living a pure and giving lifestyle. Not one bit. Do you know why? Because it is fucking boring. How many shits do I have when I hear about you helping that old lady across the street and then going home to eat a wonderful vegan dinner whilst shoving the atrocities of the meat industry up your roommate's ass until his soul beats itself to death with a dildo? None. Not a single shit. I will call you a boring shitless cunt, right to your face. Now tell me a story about following up on a dare to run to your neighbor's window in a ski mask and showing them your balls while they are eating dinner and that is a whole different thing. Morally responsible and good? Fuck no. However, it is certainly entertaining.
You can tell me all that you want that I am brash, mean, depressing, an out right asshole. I don't care. Mainly because it is true. But you know why I am those things? Not because I get drunk. No, not at fucking all. In fact, being drunk helps me repress those things and actually make jokes that actually make people laugh. In many ways, drinking levels out my anti-social feelings and outright hatred of modern America.
Also, don't you dare come at me and tell me I am ungrateful shit and tell me how awesome this country is. I am uneducated but I am certainly not ungrateful. Not by a long shot. I know that we live in (by a lot of standards) in a good country and that we celebrate a lot of freedoms that many countries may never get to appreciate. I am not talking about that. I am talking about this generation. The one I grew and am continuing to grow on. The irony of me writing this on an online blog aside, I fucking hate what the internet has made us. Kids growing up with zero social skills because everything is fucking online. Don't call! Don't call! Just text him! It is utter horse shit. I miss talking to people; yes I have fallen victim as well, I get suckered into the Facebook and texting existence we are cornered into. You can't help it, its contagious. It is also disturbing and sickening.
Lastly, don't get me started on the music (mostly because that isn't fair because everyone is entitled to their own opinion), I hate it. I hate it so much. Yes, there is some really good bands coming up out of the underground. Clawing through the muck and the mire to do good things and play good music. But their isn't any activism to support this. So many bands are left to die because people won't even fucking pay them. Band's have offered to let you choose how much to pay for your digital copy and it is still downloaded. You could pay a penny for their CD and yet people still pirate it. Over Christmas I got to see a really awesome band in Wisconsin called Purgatory Hill (if you like old White Stripes, check them right the fuck out) and I bought their CD. It felt great. I was helping (even if in just a small part) an up and coming band.
Yes, I am a hypocrite. Everyone who writes against piracy and has more than a thousand songs in their I-tunes is a hypocrite. However, everything I have downloaded is from bands that have made it. Bands that have enough money to quit their day jobs and make it a career. Does this truly justify it? Fuck no, but it makes me feel better. Also, I have heard a handful of such bands openly invite you to download their albums because their shitty record label was getting all of the money any way.
Well fuck me with a fish did this rant go every which way. I guess what I am trying to say is this, have some fun this New Year's Eve and throught 2011. Don't drive drunk, beat your significant others, don't be a cunt to your friends, remember you family and all that other bullshit. Avoiding the retarded things, have fun. Smoke a cigar, smoke a pack of cigarettes for shits and giggles, drink a case of beer and see if it makes your dick feel funny when you try to masturbate to midget porn, or just sit around with your friends and kill a bottle of decent Scotch.
Oh and incase I get called into work tonight, drink one or thirteen for me. Cheers my few readers, I will see you in the new year.
No comments:
Post a Comment